Ask Clyde and Craig

-You do realize I’m not amused by your voodoo doll, Clyde.

~Dude, it’s not a voodoo doll, it’s a plush.

-Same shit. It creeps the fuck out of me.

kennyundertheinfluence:

Clyde’s Self-Advice:

When watching a horror movie, do not take Craig. Even if he’s your Soul Brutha. 

• He eats all the jalapenos on the nachos.
• He flings popcorn into your face, cause he’s bored.
• He insists on sitting closer to the screen, cause he’s macho like a BOSS.
• He pussies out once the movie starts.
• Your sweater becomes his blanket.
• You become his teddy bear.
• SUDDENLY, your bro has become your clingy girlfriend. <—-NOT ACCEPTABLE.

~Craig, I fancy your clingy-ness during horror flicks.

-You just had to bring this up again, didn’t you.

~HAHAHA! All I remember was “CLYDE, CLYDE SHE’S GUNNA DIE. WHY THE FUCK IS SHE SO STUPID-OH FUCK-DON’T GO IN THE ATTIC YOU DUMB BITCH—OH SHIT-CLYDE I CAN’T SEE THIS.”

-Ha…ha, funny. Dick.

~You PUSSEHHH.

Anonymous asked: Clyde... I have something to tell you, now I'm not sure how to put it so I'm just going to say it. Clyde, I love you. -Kevin

SO DOES THIS MEAN WE’RE BOYFRIENDS.

YEAH?!

-ahem- 

Heh heh. Um. Yeah. I. Uh.

I guess that could be substituted for “I love you, too Kev.”

:’)

-You saw it once.

~Twice, bro.

-ONCE. End of story.

~What are you forgetting? X-mas porn night or when we first met? 

-SHIT. I was thinking Token’s pool party.

~HOLY SHIT, HAHAHA. THEN IT’S THREE TIMES.

-Clyde. No eye contact for the next few days.

-I had a small crush on Kurt, that was all.

~You were his #1 fanboy. 

-I DIDN’T DYE MY HAIR.

~You were close to doing it, once. Twice. Six times.

-He was an honorable man, shut up!

~For Craig, it’s “Oh, you have blonde hair? YOU’RE THE SPITTING IMAGE OF KURT”

-FUCK YOU CLYDE.